A superhero can be defined as “a person possessing extraordinary powers.” Who’s to say that all children aren’t extraordinary in their own ways? Every child has a gift or a talent that makes them special. They are blessed with purity and innocence; something most adults wish they could have. Children can be strong, fearless and have no regrets. A child has the ability to persevere through the unthinkable and still change and grow into the responsible person their dreams are made of. Some people wish they were super or had special powers, but there are plenty of true superheroes all around us.
A few weeks ago I had an “aha moment”. My teen son had assisted in doing some chores earlier in the day on our family work day. As he passed by me later that evening I called to him and said “Thank You for your help today.” He paused for a second and said “are you kidding? I asked what did he mean by his reply and he said “no” I’m serious I thought you were kidding.
As the weather warms up, spring arrives and the families in our communities get busy enjoying the weather and all the many activities it has to offer. We over commit to activities and we get busy. My “aha moment” reminds me that no matter how busy you get, take the time to admonish each member of you family. Model an attitude of gratitude and one that is uplifting. It is so easy to take the lives that are so near and dear to us for granted, as I have learned from those who have gone before me. Our children are young for only a short time and before you know it they are on their own and you are left to ponder how we did as parents.
Take some time today and affirm those who are dear to you. Encourage them, thank them, and build them up. You may be thinking “well they don’t encourage me!” As I respond to this as I do too many of the children I work with two wrongs don’t equal a right. Only you can bring change to someone’s life, so go for it. Model it, and watch it change countless lives.
When was the last time you said something to build someone up?
Like many parents we have a tendency to try to save our children from discomfort and negative experiences. Some experts would call this being a helicopter parent, hovering near by ready to swoop in and save the day. Unfortunately, this practice sets the child and the parent up for failure over the years. The child learns that my parent will save the day no matter what poor choices I make. It may seem like not a big deal when they are little but it’s quite different when they are 22 years old or better yet in the 40’s. The parent on the other hand will find themselves anxiously awaiting the next calamity when they will need to foot the bill or fix the situation.
A healthy parenting tool is to begin by asking yourself whose problem is it really. Then instead of engaging the problem, ask the child in a loving way how they could fix it? It amazes me how resourceful children are. When given the opportunity they can solve problems and figure out how to fix situations and make things right. Depending on their age they will need some coaching but they will not need you to save the day. They just need the opportunity, support and love. A little bit of discomfort because of poor choices can teach us a great deal that can help us in the real world.